Awkwardness and Grace

A while back I announced I am going for a multi-faceted me. I started the “Colorblind” painting series and to follow up with it I have hit the airwaves with a homegrown podcast called Awkwardness and Grace. It is about “Conversations with Humans about Race”. Being a white~ish mom with two beautiful black boys I get to navigate a world most of my white friends don’t even have to consider. Like talking to my kids about keeping their bodies safe in a world where Black people are considered dangerous or suspect before they are human.

It is an ongoing learning process and as a person that never talked about race it can be daunting. But what is more haunting is the safety of my kids and all Black, Indigenous and non white People of Color. So tune in and join me on this journey of waking up, shouting out and celebrating all.

In Love,

Yvette

Awkwardness and Grace on Apple Podcasts

Colorblind

It would be sad to be colorblind. As a person that sees life in all its vivid color it would be devastating to be colorblind. I am deeply grateful for all my senses. So when I hear someone say they are “colorblind” I am taken aback. Do you really not see red or green?

The proud progressive comment of “I am colorblind” is rarely used to refer to ones actual vision. It is used to describe how people see or pretend not to see race. Sight is our first cue when we meet someone. When one looks at another person and ignores their color they are ignoring them. Is being colorblind a way of saying everyone is the same? Which is ridiculous because no one is the same.

To be colorblind is to wipe away who we are. Not only visually but how we are treated in society. By not seeing “color” we ignore the plight and privilege of one group or another.

My new series “colorblind” is a visual commentary on how we wash away our responsibility to see color and therefore to not see the challenges different races experience in our society. Some things just can’t be wiped away just because we choose to be blind to them.

Embrace color.

Yvette

Soaring, Stumbling, Surrendering at Lois Lambert Gallery in September

If your in LA...Lois Lambert Gallery will be having an opening reception on Saturday, September 8, 2018, from 4pm to 8pm, for Yvette M. Brown in “Soaring, Stumbling, Surrendering”. I will be there drinking in the sunshine and sharing in the festivities. The show will run from September 8th- November 3rd. Hope you can come by and say hello!  There will two other artists in the gallery Arminée Chahbazian in “Displacement” and Alejandro Gómez Cangas, Darwin Estacio Martinez, Luis Rodriguez NOA in “New Work" in The Project Room. 

"Do you rap?

Racial rumblings in elementary school.

It was an innocent question. But the reaction to, "Do you rap?" showed the question was not taken as intended. "Your a racist" He said as his blood boiled from the remark. The Indian boy with large brown eyes and mouth agape cried “No, I’m not.” "Yes you are!"

Logan, my 11 year old Black American son, hurt and offended, honed in “Just because I am black doesn’t mean I rap”. Flummoxed and worried “A”, the Indian boy said “I thought because you rapped the Hamilton theme in the talent show, you knew how to rap”. Locked into his fury Logan said “Then why didn’t you ask the white kids that were rapping with me if they know how to rap? You’re a racist”. Meekly, “A” explained, “I just wanted you to be in the talent show with me this year”.

Logan was too consumed by righteousness to see clearly and repeated “You’re a racist”. The other kids watching this escalated the situation by adding “You’re a racist”. Tears flowed from “A” as his classmates pounced. The teacher intervened and the boys, along with several other students, went into a restorative justice meeting.

Logan apologized. "A" apologized.

“Do you rap?” felt wrong to Logan. But after the restorative meeting he also felt embarrassed about reacting so quickly. The intensity of the experience was powerful and moved him to tears too.

When I heard about this I wasn’t surprised. I have openly talked to Logan about racism and stereotypes. He is proud of his black skin.  I am grateful he can stand up for himself and calls out racism. Yet mixed in with this pride is the reality that I haven’t done enough. I realized he needs the language to communicate his feelings along with more life experience in reading a person.

My husband and I did some roleplaying with Logan and asked him the following questions. What was the tone of the boys voice? What was the expression on his face? Was he surprised when you called him a racist? How does he normally treat you? Slowly Logan’s face blossomed. This boy was trying to connect with him not offend him.

We agreed. Yes, be hurt, upset and express how you feel. There are endless implicit remarks and micro aggressions that happen to Black Americans or any person of color every day. Yes, correct the person and make sure they know how it is impacting you. But instead of immediately saying "Your a racist?"

Pause

Breathe

Assess

Inquire

“A” is a nice kid. Does he know this is offensive to me?

Pause

Breathe

Assess

Inquire

He doesn’t know this is offending me. “Hey “A”, I am offended by that question. Do you know that sounds like a racist remark? Asking a black person if they rap is stereotyping.“

 “A” is from India. Logan’s world is small. He has no idea about the struggles people experience from India. The boy’s mother was surprised by Logan’s reaction and assured me that her family has dealt with plenty of racism. Her son wanted to be in the talent show with Logan.  A charming “let’s play” request was slammed shut by an American boy’s black pride.

Logan is wiser from this experience. He learned that not only are Blacks, Mexicans, Asians and American Indians victims of racism but people from all around the world are also treated unfairly. It gave me an opportunity to teach Logan about the Indian culture and their struggles. It helped us fine tune how to read situations from a place of assuming the best and moving forward from there.

Conversations about racism are an ongoing experience. Talking to children about racism is ever relevant. We need to help our children navigate this maddening road of color strata. Kids need tools like roleplaying and open conversation to understand that what they say affects an outcome. Sharing life and culture from people of different races also cultivates empathy and understanding and even an opportunity to be in a talent show. What I love about the outcome of this story is that they have made amends. Inspired once again to keep talking to parents about talking to their kids about race.

Jump

I love painting. I love advocating for social justice specifically in the area of racism. I love my husband, dog, kids, and extended family. I love my friends. Lots to love.

So my Blog is now becoming a combo platter of all things loved. I don’t love to cook so no tips here on how to cook a roast but maybe how to cook up a good conversation on talking to your kids about racism.

My swirling figures are still whirling about with some new friends added maybe even some dogs will be thrown in. This may seem all over the place but it is my time to reach and touch new levels in my life. Since my life strongly influences my art this is a natural, and sometimes chaotic progression. 

I am a bit nervous and giddy at bringing this into a public space. Passion wins over the butterflies in my tummy, as it should. So I push, feel squeamish, uncomfortable and open myself up to this multifaceted me. Artist, mom, wife, advocate for racial equity and social justice, dog lover, and who knows what else will come of this.

Jump in and feel some joy. And maybe some comfort mixed with discomfort, and a few aha moments.

mass production and two African American boys

A lawyer called me and stated he was starting to deal art. He raved about my paintings. He enthusiastically waxed on about how his high-end clients would love them and he required a minimum of 10 paintings a month. I listened intently and was flattered. I then explained that my paintings take months to make. There are layers of colors that require hours of drying between each layer. I usually work on several paintings at time but these are long term, very individual, non-mass produced pieces of art. I also mentioned that I have a family that fulfills the balance of my life.

On the other side of the phone line hung a long silence.  Abruptly he announced “Well how nice that you have a life but we can not work together”.  I internally chuckled and said if he has an opportunity for my work give me a call.  I never heard back and I am fine with it. My work is like slow food. I relish the paint. The way it magically glows thru layers of rich translucent color. My relationships with galleries and clients appreciate its value.

I also relish my life. My life of two adopted African American vivacious boys and my husband, who one day announced he was leaving his creative directors job to become a meditation teacher. I love the whirling changes and constant opportunities to bend, crash, flow, burst and land, not always gracefully but I seem to survive with no broken bones.  My art is a reflection of my life. I would be a hollow mass if I didn’t “have a life”?  Ha Ha- my five year old just rushed up to me jumped on my lap and bear hugged me. 

Going forward I will be adding a new series that is a more nuanced reflection of my life. My husband and I are white parents that have two African American sons. Complicated? Yes. It has sparked a passion within me to compassionately bridge the worlds of white and color. The new series will be a conversation in paint about messaging, reality or sur-reality of the relationship between what we say, believe, think and do.

Curious? Keep watching. It may take awhile for the paint to dry but when it’s done let’s talk.

Happy Summer

Yvette

The other F-word

Falling - moving downward, rapidly and freely without control.

Fall is my favorite season, but I have to say falling is not always my favorite “F” word. I paint people Flying, Falling and Floating thru space. Falling is the most visceral of the three “F”.  For some people their hearts palpate or their breath quickens when they think of falling or see a painting or photo of someone falling.

  I have fallen by choice, free-falling from an airplane. I have fallen by accident, when my 130-lb dog decided to chase after a horse while I was holding his leash, sending me falling face first into a muddy pond. And of course there are the times I have found myself falling out of control emotionally, those times when life has shoved me over some cliff.

 For me these out-of-control experiences have been more profound than the physical falls. The heart-sinking anguish that is felt when I knew I caused pain in others.  Or those kick-me-in-the knees, falling-on-your-face wakeup calls that force me to face my demons. Then there are the times when I have just flat-out failed, followed by looking in the mirror and taking out the magnifying glass to examine and hopefully correct my fall from grace.

 Falling and failing are part of life and probably happen more than we wish to admit. You fall. Then you pick your ass up and try it again maybe, with out  falling so hard the next time. Falling is life. Picking yourself up is living.  Or shall we say it is just being human. Try until you fall. Then pick yourself up again. Repeat.

Here are some Falls and results of falling.

 Frida Khalo was in a car accident that caused her to have 30 operations and left her unable to bear children. She did portraits of herself while she laid in bed recovering from her accident.

Nick Woodman started an online gaming service called Funbug. Only to go belly up costing investors $3.9 million. Now that is one big fall. He decided to drop out and go on a surfodyssey and ended up changing the way we view the world with the GoPro.

Walt Disney was told he lacked creativity. His company Laugh-O-Gram failed. Well you know the rest of the story.

 Falling gives us the opportunity to grow from the bottom up.

Welcome Love

Love as a word has been overused to the point of loosing it's meaning. But has the meaning of love been lost to words? I have been intrigued by the sound bites of the media and political idea that Marriage has to be between a man and woman. Hmmm…Does “love” have to be between a man and a woman? Do you need to be “in Love” to be married? I will let you answer that yourself.

I have seen love in many different forms. They are all pure. I can’t tell anyone who they are allowed to love or that their love is invalid if it doesn’t fit into someone’s box.

 So I did this painting with three boxes and two figures. The figures are faceless. They may be someone you know or want to know. They are in a moment of love. And they could be both male or female. 

 So cheers to you who have the courage to live and love outside the box.

 Happy Valentines Day!

Grayscale Wonderland

a group exhibit of artists that have the ability to spark our imagination and create spectacular worlds without the use of overt color.

Two in Space

Glass Garage Gallery is featuring some of it's artists along with bG Gallery in the Grayscale Wonderland show at bG Gallery in Bergamot Station.  I am proud (woo-hoo!!!) to be a participant in this not so gray show. In sunny Santa Monica on February 7th. Be there!

"GRAYSCALE WONDERLAND" PREVIEW
Exhibition: "Grayscale Wonderland"
Artists: Kate Samworth, Yvette Brown, Nick Veasey, Charles Malinsky, Ted Gall, among others
Opening Exhibition Date: Saturday, February 7, 2015
Opening Exhibition Time: 5:30 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. 
Location: bG Gallery, Bergamot Station Arts Center
Address: 2525 Michigan Ave., ‪#‎G8A‬, Santa Monica, CA 90404
RSVP: Requested, email info@glassgaragegallery.com
Hours: Gallery open Tuesday - Saturday 11:30 a.m. - 6 p.m., or at other dates/times by appointment

Sell your Dreams

I was speaking with Steven from Steven Wolfe in San Francisco.  Steven calls his art gallery Paranoid Art. The gallery’s show was a huge piece that says “SELL YOUR DREAMS”. He asked me what I thought of the piece.

When I first saw the painting “SELL YOUR DREAMS” I had a visceral reaction as if I was asked to sell my soul. After my blood returned to my brain I realized that this is worth pondering and questioning.

Hmmm… Painting and making art is my soul driven dream.  Would I be selling my soul if I sold my dreams?  If my paintings or art are a “dream come true” why would I want to sell them?

I don’t feel I would be selling my soul if I sold my paintings.  In fact, I am thrilled someone wants to have one of my paintings in their life. I love to paint and my paintings express my passion and souls voice. When I paint I don’t wonder if my paintings will sell. That isn’t the drive. The drive/love of painting is bigger than me.

This big love should be shared and not cloistered away. All art is in this world to share.

Yes, I want to share my art but can I honestly lay “claim” to these flying, falling, floating figures? I regularly ask myself  “how the hell did I learn to paint and where the hell did the idea of painting people flying and falling come from?”  I was literally driving down the street when the idea came to me. I feel the idea of floating figures was just passing thru the air and I happened to collide with it. Its not as if I was in the car racking my head thinking what do I paint now???

When I think of how random this idea came to me, I feel like I am some kind of “conduit of cosmic creativity”.  I happened to be in the line of fire and available for this idea.  Some other lucky Joe could’ve been driving by and the idea could’ve manifested thru him.  Seems farfetched? Not really when you think of the endless flow of creativity, energy and connection out in the world. I am constantly amazed at some of the ideas people come up with. Or should I say collide with.

You don’t need to be a genius to create some dreams and sell them. What crazy cosmic creativity are you open to today? Are you willing to sell?

Creative Balance

Helloooo Northbeach!

Jeff Gard and Jeff Oakes at the store JEFF have welcomed me to show at their store.  JEFF is one of those beloved stores that defines the Northbeach area of San Francisco.  What I love about JEFF is the way they think outside the “same old retail box”. Mixing architectural furniture, luxurious exotic fabrics and art in one venue.  JEFF is the coming together of the many facets of creation and the balance of beauty.

The show, "Creative Balance" is a show inspired by the ongoing process of starting from nothing to material existence. That process, like life, is a journey of ups, downs, inertia, uncertainty and flow. My paintings are a reflection of these momentary experiences. Personally, my daily life is punctuated by finding balance. From finding the most harmonious balance of flavors in a meal (truly a challenge to me!) to balancing our inner selves with the outer world. As an artist I strive to find a creative balance of beauty and the emotions that are provoked by flying, floating and falling figures.

Thanks Jeff and Jeff for welcoming me into the Northbeach community.

JEFF

1317 Grant Avenue

San Francisco, California 94133

DISCONNECT SHOW @ TRANSMISSION GALLERY

Larry is my fathers name.  We had a very disconnected relationship since I was 5 years old. Fortunately, he reached out when I was 39 to reconnect. This allowed me to discover stories of my early years and to find forgiveness and love for him. He passed away four years later. 

View fullsize

Pallavi Sharma   www.pallavisharma.com

Soliloquy  video installation

Soliloquy is about interrelation of patriarchy and domestic violence in South Asian culture and delves in to the significance of self-talking for healing and transformation. The work specifically enters into the isolation as a tool used by the oppressor where the victim's choices in life: what she does, what and whom she talks to etc. are controlled

View fullsize

Mido Lee   www.midolee.com

Femalformation

"The female form should be the most beautiful in all of human history. Unfortunately, being naked is considered an impropriety and abnormality for women. It is especially true in Asian cultures. And yet to be born naked and in the form of a girl was natural and lucky. Through the Femalformation project I bring awareness to the pure form of the female figure and embrace who women are as part of the environment. 

When I heard about the show disconnect for NCWCA , Northern California Women Caucus for the Arts, I thought this is a no brainer. The construction and de-construction of my work is a structural foundation of connection and disconnection. 

As I pondered the word disconnect I realized it isn’t simply four sided canvases constructed or deconstructed. It is more symbolic for me. In my paintings one can see compartments in the paintings. Symbolically, they can be where ideas and experiences are categorized so one can feel comfortable and can deal with the ideas and experiences that are unexplainable.  Sometimes the canvases are disconnected and spaced apart like a puzzle trying to find its way back to reconnect with the each other.

 For me, disconnection is not neccessarliy  negative or postitive and it is nothing without connection. In fact, I find I need to disconnect from life obligations to be able to focus on self regeneration.

As for the artists in the show, the expressions of Disconnect were vast. Personal. Political. Experiential and observant. 

All in all I walked away from the opening in awe and admiration of the incredible art and artists. Please take a moment and go see the show. 

Transmisson Gallery

Address: 770 W Grand Ave, Oakland, CA 94612 Address: 770 W Grand Ave, Oakland, CA 94612

Phone:(510) 835-2626

Phone:(510) 835-2626

http://thetransmissiongallery.com

You can find it online here

What would you do?

What would you do if someone asked, "So, what do you want to do with your life now"?  That someone was my husband. We were newly married and eager to start a family, which meant saying goodbye to my career as a wardrobe stylist and fashion designer in the film industry…16 hour days on location not being very compatible with raising a family.

So I said, “I’ve always wanted to paint.” He said, “I didn’t know you painted.”

I didn’t. But I thought I could. So I took a couple classes on how to mix oil paints. And started painting, in our house. It was fun and messy. Then a friend called about an opening at an art studio complex. But I wasn’t an artist, really. But oil paints are messy. So I took it.

I felt like an imposter. There were some really professional artists in the building. Thank God because I would need all the help I could get. I struggled with some nudes with fabric draped over their bodies but it was a bit boring yet I discovered I loved painting the fabric. It was inanimate yet it seemed alive when it moved. I stepped back from the painting I was working on. I felt, for the first time, like an artist.

Welcome to the voice behind my paintings. I am excited to start this blog and new level of sharing.  With all the life changes I have undertaken in the last 10 years, (did I mention my hubby and I adopted two boys at birth, now they are 7 and 2 ½ ?) starting a blog should be a minor event. But the truth is I feel again like I’m an imposter. A painter? Sure. A writer? Hmmm…

Whatever comes of this I’m excited to explore this new medium through which to express my ideas about art and life.

(ps: My husband, who is a writer, helped me with this first post.)